An Almost Romance of NotQuite Boys
by Megaloo
Summary: Gokudera/Tsuna, or. Almost. Because life isn't always perfect, but it's usually pretty okay.


My first foray into Reborn! Fandom! Originally posted on my LJ, as per usual. No real warning except for unanswered love? You'll see. Dedicated to Missa (racketglomps) for being awesome as I read the manga and Margie (hitsuuji) for introducing me to the fandom (And GokuTsuna!).

* * *

  


They say that extraordinary things always happen on perfectly ordinary days.

It was a perfectly ordinary day. Except for the fact that it was peaceful, something that had become distinctly not-ordinary in the past few years of Tsuna's life. There was just something about training to become a Mafioso that took "peaceful" right out of his vocabulary. Sometimes, it seemed like a physical impossibility.

So perhaps the fact that it was a nice, peaceful spring Saturday would have been enough to make it extraordinary, but the thing about extraordinary things is they never do things by extraordinary halves.

--

Two and a half hours and a bag of sandwiches (made by Gokudera especially for the Tenth while Bianchi was neither looking _or_ anywhere nearby, since if she were, he wouldn't have been capable of making them, anyways) later and things were still peaceful at the park down the road. No Reborn, no Lambo, no Haru or Kyoko for Tsuna to be embarrassed in front of, no random hit men out to make his life miserable (and no Bianchi either, for that matter), no Hibari or Mukuro being well, themselves and no Yamamoto to put Gokudera into the World's Biggest Sulk.

It was, well. Nice. And quiet. And no one was dying or vomiting or kicking him in the head or _anything_. Tsuna figured he hadn't been this content, well. Ever. Not since he'd figured out how to be _dis_content. Just enjoying the sunshine on an old swing set with Gokudera-kun. A friend. A good friend. Who still called him "Tenth!" or "Boss!" or any number of embarrassing things because pretty much every _other_ hour of the day he was quite content in his role of subordinate and maybe-right-hand-man, but right now he was just a friend. Maybe a best friend. Even if he still called him "Tenth," because that was sort of okay, really. If he didn't think too hard about it and remember everything it meant. And for once, they were just being boys. Not Mafioso, not almost-heroes, not…anything abnormal. Just boys. On the cusp of high school and the impending adulthood that was to follow with all of its horrific complications that Tsuna _really_ didn't want to think about.

And didn't have to, right now. In this time when it was okay just to be.

--

"Hey, Tenth?" Gokudera brought his swing to a slow stop, looking over to Tsuna, who made a sound that might have been a "hm?" if he hadn't gotten lazy halfway through uttering it. And Gokudera was too lazy to hide the dopey sort of pleased smile that crept onto his face at the noise.

"Tenth," he started again, looking away, across to where the sun was thinking about setting, to the future beyond this day that was sort of almost perfect and thinks 'why not?' "Tenth," he says one more time, because three times is good luck, "do you realize that I love you?"

Tsuna blinks and comes back from his daydreams about boyhood to stare at Gokudera, not sure he's actually heard what he thinks he's heard. He tries to say 'Yes? Because I mean, you've sort of spent the last few years stalking me and following me and being insanely protective and sort of like a puppy, but with dynamite and a really weird temper…' but what comes out is more of a "Yehgrhrk?" because it's really not easy to be coherent when you've been caught entirely off-guard.

But it's alright. Because Gokudera understands what he's trying to say, because that's what a best friend and right hand man SHOULD be able to do, and it makes him sort of want to laugh because it's just so…so _Tsuna_. But, he knows. He knows... "Not like that, Tenth. Though I do love you like that, of course I do, 'cause you're my boss and everything…But that's not what I meant."

Tsuna blinks at him. Sort of like an owl, only it's not night yet, the sun has inched down a little bit more and twilight's coming soon, but it's not nighttime, not yet. Gokudera lights a cigarette and fills the brief silence with the click of his lighter and the soft, almost silent crackle of tobacco catching fire.

"I've always loved you like that, since you saved me and all. That's pretty normal, really. I mean, well." Gokudera shrugged and wished for a moment that Tsuna would just _say_ something, because this was really, horrifically awkward. But if he said something it would probably just get imore/i awkward because Tsuna…Well Tsuna's just got a bizarre sort of talent for Awkward. "I sort of had a crush on you for a while," he blurts out, finally. It sounds like Tsuna might be chocking but he's not looking, definitely not looking, because now he's started and it had been an utterly _perfect_ day and he was damned if he didn't finish before that sun was gone and took its perfectness with it.

"So then I ended up with a really _big_ crush and it was horribly embarrassing because I swear I turned six shades of red every time you were in something like a two-foot radius from me and it was just _embarrassing_ and it just stayed embarrassing for ages and ages but of course I never did anything because you're…well, you. You're _Tenth_ and I'd be a pretty crappy right hand man if I made you uncomfortable like that and I was terrified you'd get mad at me or something because it was pretty damn obvious that you were stupidly crazy about Kyoko-chan and all that so I didn't even have a chance and I'd rather be around you than not even if it was torture and…"

Tsuna wondered in a brief moment of insanity whether or not Gokudera-kun was actually still _breathing_ somewhere in between words.

Which he was. A little. His cigarette was basically a filter and a long stack of ash that was doomed to fall any minute, but he wasn't asphyxiating or anything. Yet. "Point in, Tenth, I sort of figured I must be in love with you, after a while. Because that's the only reason I could think of for putting myself through all that and actually _enjoying_ it, torture that it was." He finally flicked the ash off and tossed the butt aside. Useless. Complete waste of a cigarette, really.

"But it doesn't matter, does it?" The sun had crept down to just over the horizon now. Twilight. Day's ending. Almost time to go home and grow up again. But not yet, not really. "Because it's okay, you know? I was in love with you, and I'm not going to regret that, even though I figure you'd never love me back the same way, because I think you're probably a little too straight for that. But I figure…you're my friend. My boss. And I love you, and that part's never going to change. I'm going to stay by your side for always and I'm always going to defend you and stand up for you and fight for you even if you might be kind of wrong, but it's okay because I trust you to be right even when you're wrong. Because I love you. And I'm really okay with that, now."

The street lamps were starting to light as the last rays of sun faded into the silence. Gokudera pushed off with his feet, swinging in a slow arc as he lit a cigarette he actually planned to smoke, not waiting for an answer. Because he didn't need one. It didn't matter. It was really, truly okay.

Tsuna slowly unfroze, letting the swing spin in place as his legs finally let go of the ground he hadn't realized he'd been bracing against. He closed his mouth, which had been hanging open for god-knows-how-long, and was surprised to find that there actually weren't any bugs inside. That was one myth proven wrong, at least (though it was entirely possible that Gokudera had killed any insect that had made the attempt).

The things he'd said, all those things about love and it being okay…they were things too big for boyhood, too big for that weird in between stage of adolescence. They were ideas for grown up men, not boys. But they weren't really just boys any other day of the week, were they? Boyhood should be filled with days like these, adolescence with fumbling crushes and failed romance. But they couldn't do things that way, could they? Other people got to grow up and become adults. Not like them. It wasn't like that. And as much as Tsuna had liked the idea of being just a boy when the sun was out and shining, the moon brought everything into stark contrast: he could never be just a boy. Not really. But…But it was okay. It really was.

As the stars twinkled to life, he looked over at Gokudera, who was far too calm for a boy who'd just iconfessed/i, and smiled. "Yeah," he said at last. "You're right. It really is okay."

And it was.

It was _extraordinarily_ okay.


End file.
